How High Is Your
Emotional IQ?
Kansas City Small Business Monthly - 05.00
By Jim Dugan, Ph.D, Fortisan Group
Being a marketing whiz, or a technological
genius isn't all there is to advancing your
business. Emotional Intelligence, or EI, has
become a popular business term these last few
years. A number of best-selling books, countless
articles and a host of professional conferences
have extolled its benefits. Meanwhile, more than
600 mostly large businesses such as General
Electric, Ford Motor, Chase Manhattan Bank and
the San Francisco Chamber of Commerce have
integrated EI concepts into their corporate
culture. Large organizations, however, are not
the only ones that can benefit from
incorporating EI principles. Small businesses,
too, can build EI practices into their
day-to-day operations.
A New Way of Being Smart
Emotional intelligence has been described as
"extraordinary people skills," "a new domain of
intelligence," and "more important than IQ or
technical skills in determining job success."
Daniel Goleman, PhD., psychologist, and author
of the best-selling book, Working with Emotional
Intelligence, (1998) defines EI as "the capacity
for recognizing our own feelings and those of
others, for motivating ourselves, for managing
emotions well in ourselves and in our
relationships." The business world is filled
with numerous tales of how negative emotions,
turf battles, lingering resentments, and
excessive hubris have derailed the most talented
individuals and businesses. Building your EI may
help you avoid some of these pitfalls.
Key EI Skills
In his research of 100 plus companies worldwide,
Dr. Goleman identified 20 traits, or emotional
competencies, integral to EI. Four
competencies-- self-control, emotional
self-awareness, empathy and influence-are
considered the building blocks of the others.
Self-control-keeping your cool.
The absence of anger is not the key here. The
challenge is how do you keep calm and not let
the inevitable disappointments and injustices
knock you off balance and trigger a major
meltdown. Can you feel your temper brewing? Do
calming strategies like visualization, (where
you picture yourself in a serene and relaxed
setting), a quick prayer, or positive self-talk
("stay calm" or "this is't worth getting upset
about") help you squelch an eruption? Watch and
learn how to maintain your self-control from
those around you. How do politicians, pundits,
co-workers, friends respond when they are
criticized? Do they lose their head and
counter-attack, or sidestep the attack and focus
on the complaint behind the blow-up?
Emotional Self-Awareness - Staying "tuned in"
It is important to stay alert to your feelings
and the "vibes" being sent your way. Recently,
as stock prices in a major corporation dipped to
the lowest in years, the CEO, announced, "I am
not feeling pressure; I never feel pressure."
Three weeks later, the CEO was gone. Now one
"emotional disconnect" doesn't prompt a CEO's
unraveling but ignoring and denying realistic
pressures can seriously hamper decision making.
How can you as a small business owner stay tuned
to your emotions? Having a significant other,
colleague or trusted friend who politely but
firmly tells you when you are acting too heady -
or steering off course - can be an invaluable
asset. It is generally too risky for employees
inside the organization to do this, especially
with a small business. (Employees may insist
they can level with their boss, but can they
actually tell the boss about his poor behavior
or just whisper about it?) Small business owners
need to cultivate a culture where playing a
devil¹s advocate, asking tough questions, and
critiquing operations are part of the norm.
Empathy: Communicating understanding.
Until recently, empathy was a term absent from
the business world. A leader might be described
as shrewd, cunning, or fair-minded but rarely
"empathic." Empathy doesn't mean being "soft" or
agreeing to whatever is said; instead it means
listening respectfully to, and communicating an
understanding of that person's situation and
experience. Empathy can also be a social
"lubricant" for building teamwork and a valuable
asset. When applied judiciously it can help calm
individuals and organizations during upheavals
such as mergers and acquisitions. Empathy may
also serve as a buffer against lawsuits.
In one study, researchers found that family
physicians, who have never been sued, were found
to spend more time talking, listening and even
joking with their patients than their colleagues
who had been sued.
Influence: Responding to people and concerns.
Emotionally intelligent leaders foster a
positive atmosphere within their organization by
trying to establish an emotional rapport with
employees. This is difficult in large companies,
but tales of CEO's who listen, joke and respond
to employees' concerns can rapidly wind through
the company grapevine. In generating influence,
actions can sometimes speak louder than words.
An accountant with a successful small business
explained that during tax season she knows her
employees are feeling more pressure. This is
when she works extra hard to do the little
things "to keep that family feeling alive in our
culture." She pitches in to answer phones, make
coffee, or cover for an employee with a sick
child. Even though this meant more work for her,
she felt the payoffs were substantial as staff
turnover was low and morale strong. Plus, with
everybody less frazzled there were fewer
mistakes and audits.
Small business owners are sometimes so stressed
in keeping their daily business operations
flowing, that they don't have time to reflect on
their employee's or their own EI. If this is
you, you may be missing a significant
opportunity to identify valuable assets that
will help you grow and build your business.
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